Comments (6)

By Andy, June 9, 2009 5:40 am

…fasting is the secret key that unlocks heaven’s door and slams shut the gates of hell.

- Jentezen Franklin, “Fasting”

I have never refrained from anything for 40 days before.

I’ve never given up anything during the 40 days of Lent.

Never.

Have I fasted?

Yes…partial fasts, having gone vegetarian for a week, or the occasional workday fast wherein I’ve chosen not to eat during the working day.  I’ve also fasted from blogging as well - typically for a week at a time, and usually as part of a church-wide week of prayer and fasting.

But this time, I sensed the need to go longer…to fast from online social media like blogging, Facebook, and Twitter.  I saw the hold that this technology held on me when I began this fast, and I didn’t like what I saw about myself.  I also found myself drifting a bit in faith, and knew that by giving up online social media I would have more time to focus on my faith and my family.

I have to admit, it was a bit of a struggle the first week not blogging, not reading Facebook, not updating my Twitter feed.  I battled the need to always be in the know, or the need to come up with some really clever tweet or status update.  I did, however, find myself reading assorted resources about social media from both sides of the divide:  from those who believe that online social media is not real community to those who believe that it is a new form of community (I’ll discuss this in a future post).  I spent more time in the Bible and in prayer, tried to be more intentional about the time spent with my wife and kids, in addition to time spent with friends locally, and reading quite a bit more than I had.

So what did I discover?

1)  I was able to hear God’s voice in my life with greater clarity.  That doesn’t mean that I heard this booming voice from above, but rather I could sense an impression on my heart, confirmed typically by others unsuspecting of the answers to prayer that I had been seeking.

2)  One of the “impressions” I got was to spend more time with Hank.  While I have been spending time with him coaching baseball, I hadn’t spent a lot of one-on-one time with him.  I purchased and read “Raising a Modern Day Knight” at the suggestion of a fellow brother, and as a result, I now spend time with him each evening reading a chapter of the Bible (we’re reading Exodus together), discussing each chapter, discipling him in faith on his journey to manhood.

3)  I have spent the better part of the past 40 days reading, re-reading, and praying through Ephesians 5:21-33.  How can I love my wife sacrificially, the way Jesus loves His church?  Too often men stop reading after verse 22 - but the fact is that there are three times as many instructions for husbands (9 verses for husbands, 3 verses for wives) than there are for wives in that passage - so who’s got more work to do in their marriages?  I know I don’t always get this right, but I know that if I am to be the husband that God has called me to, this is how I am to love my wife.  And I want my son to one day love his wife sacrificially.

4)  For several weeks I had been meeting with 2 other men in my church for accountability early on Thursday mornings.  We shared our struggles and challenges, but as we talked, we got the sense that more men needed this kind of relationship.  So what began with 3 of us has now doubled in size (and may continue to grow in number) as men from our church come together every Thursday morning at a local coffeeshop to discuss the prior week’s sermon message and challenge each other to apply those principles in our lives.  The first time that newer faces came to our group, we saw instant transparency - clearly a confirmation that more men needed to be in these kind of relationships to become the men that Jesus has called us to be.

Those are but a few of the things that occurred while I was away - more to share in coming days and weeks.  In the meantime, one final and very cool thing to share - Hank’s baseball team, the team I coach - has advanced in the playoffs.  Big game tonight - winner moves on, losing team goes home!

It’s good to be back.  Thanks for your prayers.

Comments (5)

By Andy, September 14, 2007 11:53 pm

This past summer my kids attended a Vacation Bible School at one of the local Lutheran churches. It was a week long VBS, and each of them really enjoyed the lessons and songs they learned that week.

Hank was fortunate, as one of his best friends from kindergarten last year was in his class. Alex is a squirt of a boy, barely taller than Hank’s shoulders, but a kid who plays hard on the playground, with quick speed in keeping up with the taller boys and a gentle heart, who helped bring out Hank’s more gentle side. Put Hank and Alex together, and you have two Asian boys who connect. Everyday in kindergarten, during snack time and recess, Hank and Alex would share their snacks; if Hank had a granola bar, he would snap it in half and give one half to Alex, who likewise would share a similar item from his snack that day. They each had each others backs, ensuring that the other would pack up their items before having to come in from recess.

It was well known throughout the class that Alex’s mom was terminally ill with cancer. Angela would come on certain mornings, delivering her boys, Alex to the kindergarten class and his older brother to his second grade class. A petite woman, she came modestly dressed, her head covered masking the effects of the chemotherapy she had endured. She always had a smile for others on the days she dropped off the boys. Her faith in Christ, in the face of her struggle, is what kept her going, she once told my wife.

I last saw her in early August, on the final night of the VBS at the Lutheran church. The kids put on a pageant to highlight the songs they had learned that night, Hank and Alex singing loudly while expressing themselves with the hand motions appropriate to the song. She and her husband sat behind us, with her husband holding their youngest boy, a three year old, asleep in his arms. We joked with them about how they had made the rounds of the local Vacation Bible Schools, as their kids had just finished attending their third one this summer. We talked church with them, inviting them to come check out our church, as they had not committed to a particular church home, and in fact were attending a church across the Bay.

Tonight was an outdoor movie night at the kids’ school - school PTO volunteers set up an outdoor screen on the playground, and a couple hundred folks, mainly school families, came in camp chairs and blankets to picnic, socialize, and watch the film. We found our friends who we were going to picnic with (with pizza and soda) and quickly got settled, while my wife spent a few minutes distributing Girl Scout registration forms to the families in Margaret’s troop. As the film’s opening credits began to roll, and the pizza quickly being eaten, I looked back for Page, who was standing in the back with a small group of other parents.

I went over to get her with the intent of encouraging her to sit down and eat, since she just finished 5 straight night shifts and had not slept much today. I lightly put my hand on her shoulder, saying, “You better come sit down - there’s only a couple of slices of pizza left.”

She turned to look at me, eyes red with tears, “Angela passed away last night.”

We walked back to our seats, shared the news with our friends, and let ourselves escape in the movie - but it was clear that Angela and her family were not far from our thoughts. We watched Hank and Margaret laugh at the silly scenes in the film, letting them enjoy their night out under the stars.

As we returned to the car after the film, Page looked at Hank and said, “You know how your friend Alex’s mom has been sick?”

“Uh huh, mom.”

“Angela died last night.”

We both carefully looked at his face. The smile on his face had disappeared, replaced with a brief look of confusion, then sadness. While he did not cry, there was a stoicism in his face that was a mask for the palpable sadness that he now had for his good friend. Before he went to bed Page asked him how he was doing.

“I was happy until you told me Angela died.”

So were we, Hank.

Angela is now with her namesake angels, her body restored to full glory as she is with Her Lord. Jesus flung open His Gates last night and welcomed His daughter home. Please pray for her family, as they will miss this daughter, wife, and mother - that they will take comfort knowing she is home.

Comments (7)

By Andy, September 11, 2007 11:50 pm

I realize that by the time most of you read this, it will be the 12th, not the 11th, but in my busyness these past couple of days, I haven’t given much thought to the events of six years ago. Thanks to Randall for spurring me to think about it.

It had been a normal morning for me. I was up a little before 5 am and had gone to the gym. As is my typical routine, I didn’t pay attention to the news on TV, but at 5 am Pacific time, the events had yet to occur. I did my usual lifting routine, came home, took a shower.

The phone rang around 6:15 am. It was my mother in-law, who said that my sister in-law had just delivered her 3rd child, her first son…and by the way, did you see what’s going on in New York and DC? Did you hear about the planes crashing into the World Trade Center and Pentagon?

What do you mean? Like Randall, I thought it was some small private plane.

Turn on the TV.

I dash over to the TV…and my jaw dropped, seeing the image of the towers engulfed with smoke. I passed the phone to my wife, waking her up, my mother in-law telling her the news of the new nephew AND the attacks. A few minutes later, my cellphone rang, and it was my supervisor who called to say that he was closing the office for the day. I had a day to spend with my family…my daughter approaching her 3rd birthday, while my son was 6 months old. When she came out of her room to say good morning, all I did was grab her and hug her tight.

I don’t think I’ve cried more in my life than during that day and the days that followed. The tears I shed were not for any personal loss I had, but for the collective loss I shared with my fellow countrymen, tears for the those who lost family and friends, tears for the realization that humanity, at the dawn of the 21st Century, had entered a new stage in its geopolitical climate.

Tonight when I got home from work (briefly before heading out to a meeting at church), Hank was building a Star Wars Lego model (General Grievous’ fighter from Episode III). When I came into his room to see what he was doing, he started to tell me about a story he and my wife had heard on the radio about the planes crashing into the Twin Towers, how one man was relaying that he was in an office in one of the towers, felt the building shake, with his colleagues wondering what had happened, then deciding to evacuate. As they got to the stairs, it was already crowded, and firemen were coming up telling them to leave and run away as fast and as far as possible. When he got out and was about a mile away, this man looked back and saw the building fall. My wife peered in from the corner of the doorway, tears welling up in her eyes. I looked at Hank who then said, “I was a baby then.”

“Yes, you were six months old.”

I walked out of the room, tears welling in my eyes. My wife said that after they heard the report on the radio, she explained to him what had happened, and he too, had tears…of fear and sadness at what transpired 6 years ago.

It is a stark reminder as to whom this world belongs:

1As for you, you were dead in your transgressions and sins, 2in which you used to live when you followed the ways of this world and of the ruler of the kingdom of the air, the spirit who is now at work in those who are disobedient.

Ephesians 2:1-2 (NIV)

We need to remember that we live in a fallen world…and that there is only One Hope.

Comments (5)

By Andy, August 30, 2007 7:31 am

One of the books I read during my vacation last week was Donald Miller’s To Own A Dragon. I read this book earlier this year, but I found myself drawn to it again as a couple of us at church were discussing potential future material for our men’s group. I thought this book could be a good read for our group, and in the interest of verifying it and doing research, I re-read it while up in the Sierras.

Roughly a quarter of the way through Miller describes the following about a discussion between him and his friend John MacMurray, who co-authored the book with him:

He told me that when Terri gave birth to Chris, and he held his son in his arms for the first time, it was the closest he had ever been to understanding the love of God. He said that though he had never met this little person, this tiny baby, he felt incredible love for him, as though he would lie down in front of a train if he had to, that he would give up his life without so much as thinking about it, just because this child existed. John set this love beside other relationships, but they didn’t compare. In other relationships, the person he knew had to earn his love. Even with his own father, John learned to love him; and with his wife, they had fallen in love. But it wasn’t that way with his children. His love for them was instantaneous, from the moment of their birth. They had performed nothing to earn his love other than be born. It was the truest, most unconditional love he had known.

As a father, I completely related to this. I was the first person to physically touch my daughter Margaret when she was born. On that day nearly 9 years ago, I went from a father who wasn’t even going to consider cutting the umbilical cord at the doctor’s instruction to one who listened to the doc when he said, “Now Dad, but your left hand here…”

“…okay…”

“Put your other hand…here…”

“…okay…”

“Now catch your baby.”

As she came out, I caught her, confirmed to my wife that she was indeed the girl we were expecting, and handed her to my wife, tears rolling down my face. I felt that instant unconditional love that Miller described above. It was the same with my son two and half years later.

Even more powerful, though, is what John tells Miller about this love:

John said if his love for Chris was the tiniest inkling of how God loved us then he had all the security in the world in dealing with God, because he knew, firsthand, what God’s love toward him felt like, that it was complete.

“I’m just saying, Don, if God is our Father, we’ve got it good. We’ve got it really good.”

And it struck me that if I as a father, love my daughter and son as intensely as I do, and would be willing to lay down my life for them, how amazing is the love that God has for us that He would become human and lay down His Life for ours?

Yeah, we really do have it good.

Comments (4)

By Andy, August 12, 2007 7:08 pm

This past week my kids were at a Vacation Bible School sponsored by one of the local Lutheran churches in town (and for you Lutherans who are reading this, it is a Missouri Synod congregation). They had a fantastic time on the “Quest for Truth” about Jesus, and their week culminated in a short pageant on Friday night in which each class recited a memory verse and sang a song. Additionally, their artwork and projects were on display on tables throughout the hall.

Of note was that with my daughter’s class, each child was given a Bible…Today’s NIV translation, slimline, with faux leather cover. Margaret was thrilled…hers was pink!

When we got home, she thumbed through her new Bible and saw a reading schedule to read the Bible cover to cover in one year, and proclaimed that she would start that on Saturday morning.

Sure enough…when I got her out of bed, she said she had read the readings for Days One and Two.

And she packed it in her tote bag yesterday to read when she spends this week with Hank and their grandparents!

If an 8 year old can begin reading the Bible cover to cover yesterday…how about you?

Comments (0)

By Andy, May 28, 2007 11:12 pm

It was, perhaps, one of the more memorable characters of the early to mid-1990’s Saturday Night Live sketches…Stuart Smalley, a character played by Al Franken, was a send-up of folks obsessed with 12 step programs. One of his trademark phrases was “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.”

We laughed watching those skits, as he would interview assorted characters and even some real-life folks, such as the time he brought in a professional basketball player, known only as “Michael”, and spoke to him of the insecurities that must come with the pressure of playing professional sports.

Of course, “Michael” wasn’t insecure, and merely played along with Smalley in this particular skit, with the punchline of having a confident Michael Jordan, at the peak of his career, looking into the mirror saying “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and dog-gone it, people like me.”

Not all of us can be as confident as Jordan was during the peak of his career (or at least to exhibit confidence) - and more of us, at times, are closer to Smalley’s character than we care to admit. We struggle in our personal and professional lives, wondering if anything we do is “good enough” or whether we are “smart enough” and whether others might like us.

But isn’t that where the error begins? That we believe that the things we do are so that other people might like us? That our worth is based on what our friends or family or colleagues think of us? I certainly don’t mean to imply that those things are not worthy, but let’s face it, we should only be concerned with what The Big Guy Upstairs thinks of us.

The fact is, we are good enough, smart enough, and dog-gone it, Jesus Loves Me.

::

It was a good break, although I don’t think I’ll be posting as regularly as I once was - at least not daily, anyway. We traveled up to a campground north of San Francisco this holiday weekend with about 30 other families from our kids’ school, so the kids were able to take off and bicycle around the playground while we parents hung out and socialized all weekend. I even managed to get some reading in, although my allergies really wiped me out.

Good to be back home, rested and unfortunately ready to tackle the work week.

See you soon.

Comments (0)

By Andy, May 14, 2007 12:21 am

To all the mothers out there…Happy Mother’s Day! A little gift for you moms…a couple of angels (okay…one of them’s my daughter, on the left) singing “A Mother’s Prayer” in church this morning. Enjoy!

Comments (0)

By Andy, March 20, 2007 3:30 pm

Not a whole lot to say…but I have just started reading Rob Bell’s latest book, and like his first outing, really challenges you. Check out a free download of the first chapter here, and you’ll see what I mean.

Finishing my income taxes has taken up the bulk of the past couple of evenings (so very close to being done), and today is our 14th wedding anniversary, so I won’t be posting anything later.

Happy Anniversary to Page! Love you.