Comments (2)

By Andy, June 23, 2009 11:56 pm

I admit it.

I watched it on Monday night.

In fact, it’s been a show that our family has watched, on and off, since it first aired.

My kids, in particular, have enjoyed watching the antics of the sextuplets as they’ve grown up from crawling babies to curious 5 year olds.  But now…all we feel for the sextuplets and their twin older sisters, is nothing but sadness.

For all the flaunting of their Christian faith in the early years of their reality show (they took a trip sans kids to speak to a large church in Fresno, and Kate’s book tour last year took her to a variety of churches across the country, nevermind that their book was published by a major Christian publisher and can be found in the Christian book section), the fact is that it appears, at least from the 30 minute episodes we’ve seen, that it wasn’t as large a part of their life as we’d been led to believe.  Admittedly, some of that is editing, of course, but the pattern of behavior that we’ve seen on the show between the two parents has not been healthy for a long time. On Monday night, Jon, the father, admitted as much when he shared that he had allowed his wife to boss him around while he reacted passively (although I would argue rather passive aggressively) and that he’d finally had enough.  There was truth in that statement, as we could see that pattern throughout the life of the show.  We saw a time when Kate flipped out when Jon dressed the kids in clothes other than what she set out (because they matched) rather than accept the fact that he got them dressed and out the door for a family outing (which is what would happen in most healthy marriages).  The level of criticism she has leveled at her husband, on screen, to his face, during those love seat interviews, probably wasn’t fair much of the time.  And he should have stepped up to work through those rather than accept them the way he did.

That said, he’s a coward.  For all the criticism that I can level at the wife, I reserve my harshest for him - because as a father and a husband, he is called to more.  If he truly believed in his vow of marriage, if he truly loved his wife the way he is supposed to, he would have stepped up - would “man up” - and be the Ephesians 5 husband that God has called all husbands to be.

25-28Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ’s love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They’re really doing themselves a favor—since they’re already “one” in marriage.

Ephesians 5:25-28 The Message

Unfortunately Jon’s actions in recent months, clubbing with another woman, is worse than anything that his wife might have done to him in the past. He should be loving his wife, faults and all, the way Jesus loves us - the sacrifical love, the love that brings the best out of us.  As a husband that’s what I want to do, to love my wife in such a way so as to bring the best out of her.  I don’t always succeed, but I’m not about to take the “easy” route and run away from the problem.  Besides, doesn’t it make sense that it would be easier for the wife to respect her husband when he is loving her the way that Jesus loves His church?

There is so much more that could be said, including the materialism that both parents seem to enjoy from the income from the show, but that’s a discussion for another day.  The sad truth is that eight more children will become victims of divorce, victims of two selfish parents, one of whom has a highly critical streak in her personality, and one who is unable to rise up to the challenge of becoming a real man…a man who should be loving sacrificially, the way Jesus loves us, the way that He commanded us to love.

Comments (2)

By Andy, July 26, 2007 1:58 pm

5-8Think of yourselves the way Christ Jesus thought of himself. He had equal status with God but didn’t think so much of himself that he had to cling to the advantages of that status no matter what. Not at all. When the time came, he set aside the privileges of deity and took on the status of a slave, became human! Having become human, he stayed human. It was an incredibly humbling process. He didn’t claim special privileges. Instead, he lived a selfless, obedient life and then died a selfless, obedient death—and the worst kind of death at that—a crucifixion.

Philippians 2:5-8 (The Message)

21Out of respect for Christ, be courteously reverent to one another.

Ephesians 5:21 (The Message)

The other day I was reading this with several other guys from the church in relation to our relationship with our wives during our men’s group. The discussion that ensued from the reading of these passages convicted each of us, as we each shared the mistakes and failings that we’d had in the past couple of weeks in our marital relationships.

We discussed how we didn’t listen to our wives, how we did not make the time necessary for our families, how we valued our own opinions over theirs, how we had been self-righteous in our opinions.

How we did not view Christ first before our marriages.

As we were reminded of Christ’s own servant leadership, the Deity who became man to serve us, in obedience to OUR Father, we realized our failings and prayed and re-committed ourselves to following the example set out by Jesus.

We are to be servant leaders in our homes, to humble ourselves in service in our marital relationships, the way Christ did and continues to do so, for His Church.

It cannot work any other way.