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By Andy, June 9, 2009 5:40 am

…fasting is the secret key that unlocks heaven’s door and slams shut the gates of hell.

- Jentezen Franklin, “Fasting”

I have never refrained from anything for 40 days before.

I’ve never given up anything during the 40 days of Lent.

Never.

Have I fasted?

Yes…partial fasts, having gone vegetarian for a week, or the occasional workday fast wherein I’ve chosen not to eat during the working day.  I’ve also fasted from blogging as well - typically for a week at a time, and usually as part of a church-wide week of prayer and fasting.

But this time, I sensed the need to go longer…to fast from online social media like blogging, Facebook, and Twitter.  I saw the hold that this technology held on me when I began this fast, and I didn’t like what I saw about myself.  I also found myself drifting a bit in faith, and knew that by giving up online social media I would have more time to focus on my faith and my family.

I have to admit, it was a bit of a struggle the first week not blogging, not reading Facebook, not updating my Twitter feed.  I battled the need to always be in the know, or the need to come up with some really clever tweet or status update.  I did, however, find myself reading assorted resources about social media from both sides of the divide:  from those who believe that online social media is not real community to those who believe that it is a new form of community (I’ll discuss this in a future post).  I spent more time in the Bible and in prayer, tried to be more intentional about the time spent with my wife and kids, in addition to time spent with friends locally, and reading quite a bit more than I had.

So what did I discover?

1)  I was able to hear God’s voice in my life with greater clarity.  That doesn’t mean that I heard this booming voice from above, but rather I could sense an impression on my heart, confirmed typically by others unsuspecting of the answers to prayer that I had been seeking.

2)  One of the “impressions” I got was to spend more time with Hank.  While I have been spending time with him coaching baseball, I hadn’t spent a lot of one-on-one time with him.  I purchased and read “Raising a Modern Day Knight” at the suggestion of a fellow brother, and as a result, I now spend time with him each evening reading a chapter of the Bible (we’re reading Exodus together), discussing each chapter, discipling him in faith on his journey to manhood.

3)  I have spent the better part of the past 40 days reading, re-reading, and praying through Ephesians 5:21-33.  How can I love my wife sacrificially, the way Jesus loves His church?  Too often men stop reading after verse 22 - but the fact is that there are three times as many instructions for husbands (9 verses for husbands, 3 verses for wives) than there are for wives in that passage - so who’s got more work to do in their marriages?  I know I don’t always get this right, but I know that if I am to be the husband that God has called me to, this is how I am to love my wife.  And I want my son to one day love his wife sacrificially.

4)  For several weeks I had been meeting with 2 other men in my church for accountability early on Thursday mornings.  We shared our struggles and challenges, but as we talked, we got the sense that more men needed this kind of relationship.  So what began with 3 of us has now doubled in size (and may continue to grow in number) as men from our church come together every Thursday morning at a local coffeeshop to discuss the prior week’s sermon message and challenge each other to apply those principles in our lives.  The first time that newer faces came to our group, we saw instant transparency - clearly a confirmation that more men needed to be in these kind of relationships to become the men that Jesus has called us to be.

Those are but a few of the things that occurred while I was away - more to share in coming days and weeks.  In the meantime, one final and very cool thing to share - Hank’s baseball team, the team I coach - has advanced in the playoffs.  Big game tonight - winner moves on, losing team goes home!

It’s good to be back.  Thanks for your prayers.

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By Andy, May 26, 2009 12:49 pm

Book: HERO

Author: Fred Stoeker & Jason Stoeker with contributions by Mike Yorkey

Summary:

You already know it’s not easy being a single man in this culture today. But it is easy to be overwhelmed, to feel helpless and hopeless about living by God’s high standards for singles. It’s easy to cave in to the pressures of this sex-soaked world and accept defeat—blaming the media, the culture, even girlfriends who don’t know how tough it can be.

But many men have read books like Every Young Man’s Battle and Tactics and have committed themselves to stand strong and pure in the power of God, and to go on the offensive against the onslaught of negative stereotypes. Some have suffered. Some have fallen. But many have experienced victory—and you can be among them.

What makes those committed men so desirable to women? Be Her Hero is their motto. From best-selling author Fred Stoeker, along with his son Jasen, come the straightforward insight and real-life examples you’re looking for to help you take personal purity to its logical conclusion. Here’s straight truth with irrefutable evidence of what makes an ultimate hero to women who long for men of faith—men who stand by their convictions and make their world a safer and better place.

Are you ready to accept the challenge?

Author Bios:

Fred Stoeker is a best-selling author of several books, including Every Young Man’s Battle and Tactics, the president of Living True Ministries, and a popular conference speaker who challenges men to become sexually pure, to reconnect in true intimate relationship with their wives, and to train their sons to become godly men. A graduate of Stanford University, Fred lives in Des Moines, Iowa with his wife, Brenda, and their children.

Mike Yorkey, a writer living in Encinitas, California, has collaborated with Fred Stoeker in all his books for the Every Man’s series.

Jasen Stoeker is a popular conference speaker who challenges young men to be heroic in their relationships with women and to be a Christian, rather than just seem like one. Jasen is a graduate of Iowa State University with degrees in Computer Engineering and Computer Science and now lives in Minneapolis, MN, with his wife Rose.

Comments (7)

By Andy, April 29, 2009 10:24 pm

Online social media has really taken off this past year. With the rise of Facebook and now Twitter, we are now more connected to each other than ever before. I’m not suggesting that it’s a bad thing, mind you, but for me, I’m reaching a point where I am facing my own narcissism, and I’m not sure that I like what I see.

Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked, I enjoy being liked, I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.

- Michael Scott, “The Office”

I carry a Blackberry. For work. But it’s all too easy to have the mobile Opera browser and check in on Facebook Mobile. Or use Twitterberry to update my Twitter status (which automatically updates my Facebook status, too). The tool, in and of itself, is fine. But I’m becoming addicted to the “2 people like this” thumbs up on some comment, and the various amusing comments that others might write in response.

This was an offshoot of blogging for me. I started blogging here at The Beach over 3 years ago, random musings on life and faith. I wrote a lot in the earlier days, and enjoyed the various comments from readers, many of whom stumbled upon the musings of this husband and father living a mile from the Pacific Ocean. I couldn’t help but be excited when a particular post elicited a wide variety of comments, and seeing the comment counter tick upward was a rush. The discussions, too, were enjoyable to read, with some even sparking interesting debate.

Yet over the course of the past couple of years, the frequency with which I’ve been writing has slowed, and I have reached a point where I’m usually okay if no one comments. The main thing is that the blog has been an outlet to write, and if anyone actually responds to what I’ve written, that’s a bonus.

Note the word “usually”.

I would not be honest if I didn’t say that sometimes I wished there were more interaction on some posts. But that’s a function of my ego… “What, this post was awesome! Why didn’t y’all comment?” (And stroke my ego, right?)

Fast forward to the rise of Twitter and Facebook.

Now you don’t need to write anything substantial to elicit a response. A snarky comment, a random 140 character musing about what I’m doing, or even some quote (whether thought provoking or amusing), is much more likely to generate a comment. Photos uploaded, tagged to include friends in the photo, will certainly generate comments. That interactivity is fun, especially when it is with old high school and college friends (in a couple of cases, old teachers), and even with local friends.  Social media, in and of itself, is a useful connectivity tool.  After all, we humans were created to live relationally, and this is an easy way to do it.

But because we are in community (online) with X number of friends, now we come to expect those comments, and I think our egos get slightly bruised when no one comments on a tagged photo…or there’s a delay in a response. We want to be recognized for the things we share on Facebook or Twitter, don’t we? For instance, I was sending field trip photos of my son and his class to Twitter and to Facebook…while ON the field trip – all in the name of “sharing” - when I should have been enjoying the moment WITH the kids after taking the photos (and not worry about a real-time update to Facebook).

It’s all about me, isn’t it? Me and the collective “me”.  We’ve each become “stars” in online worlds of our making.  We like the feedback that comes from the comments.

The reality is that I’m finding myself online too much looking at other’s status updates and the relevant comments. I’m hunting for the “thumbs up” or the comments on a 140 character status update. I seek the comments on my blog.

Maybe it’s time for me to unplug for awhile and live “offline”.

Therefore…the Beach will go dark for the next 40 days as part of a fast from online social media (although I admit that I will break the fast for one day in mid-May for a book review as part of a blog tour that I previously committed to.)   I will not be active on Facebook nor Twitter during this time.  Aside from the one post mentioned, I will not be writing nor commenting, although since some of your blogs are in my Google Reader, I may read a post here or there.

You might think I’m taking this to an extreme.  Well…maybe…after all, I dove in headfirst into Facebook a couple of months ago, using the medium, connecting with friends past and present, sharing thoughts and ideas in 140 characters or less.  For me, this 40 day fast will allow me the chance to slow down, hopefully connect some of you by voice or even face to face.

It’s interesting that the current message series at my church is focused on the idea of having “One Month to Live”.  How would I live my life differently - today - if I knew that I had one month to live?  What changes in relationships would I make if I had one month to live?  What about myself would I want changed so that I could leave this world with a clean slate?  Somehow I don’t think spending an extra hour a day on social media would be what I would choose.

So…it begins today.  I will make one last round on Facebook tonight, one last round on Twitter, and sign off until June 10.

See you in forty days.

::

Note: I can still be reached via email and phone…I’m not going completely dark.

Comments (2)

By Andy, April 27, 2009 11:11 pm

It was a short call, as far as phone calls go.

The message was quick.

The point was received even more quickly.

A once tough veteran of the Second World War, a Navy man, a family man, a follower of Jesus, passed away this morning.

I hung up the phone and let my kids know as we drove onto school today, the music of Delirious? forming the soundtrack to the narration that we each listened to in our heads.  After I had pulled into a parking space outside the school, I turned off the engines and asked each of the kids who wanted to start our morning prayer for the day.

Both declined.

So I started it…in silence…attempting to gather the words for what was going to be a difficult morning prayer.  My voice cracked as I fumbled through the requests for protection and wisdom in our days, but the tears began to flow only when I thanked Jesus for the life now passed into eternity, his frail body, which required a walker for mobility, now healed, dancing once again in the streets, reunited with family and with the One Who Saved Us.

I turned to look at the kids, each crying openly, wiping their tears with the sleeves of their sweatshirts.  They understood the finality of the life we will miss, but each knew that this man, who they had greeted every Sunday with hugs, was now experiencing a joy that we hope to one day have.

I thought back a couple of years to the time when I had visited them on my own after he and his wife had had a sustained absence from our fellowship.  Our church family was in discussions to merge with another church family, and I wanted to give each of them the information about the proposed merger.  His words will never leave me.

“If this is what Jesus wants, then it’s what I want.”

May my faith (and yours) be that simple.

Wayne, I’m glad to have known you on this side of eternity.  Until we meet again.

Comments (2)

By Andy, April 26, 2009 11:01 pm

Love is an unconditional commitment to the absolute best for another person.

- Jonathan Markham

So, how have you loved unconditionally? How have you made an unconditional commitment to the absolute best for another? Or are there strings?

Or let me put it another way. Is it possible to have this kind of love this side of eternity?

I know I haven’t loved like this. But it is something I am striving for, starting with my wife and kids.

Anyone else?

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By Andy, April 21, 2009 9:10 pm

If you’ve been around this blog for any length of time, or know the stuff I’ve been reading this past year, you guys know I’ve enjoyed the stuff written by Mark Batterson.  And now the small group study based on his book Wild Goose Chase is coming out next month.  Here’s the teaser!

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hGGwc3ndLTg]

Comments (1)

By Andy, April 19, 2009 10:16 pm

The past couple of posts ’round here have detailed some of the amazing stuff that’s gone on at my church related to Easter, the Easter Outreach, and our attendance figure of 153.  One thing that struck me (and a few others) is that the number 153 is a pretty random number for Scripture.  We’re all well aware of 7, 12, and 40, but in that passage in the Gospel of John, why would John specifically describe the number of fish caught?

Anyway…today our attendance figure dropped, but it was still a bump above our average, coming in at 107…with many regular attendees/members not present.  Therefore, many of the additional folks were once again guests and visitors.  It was also the first time in our church’s history that we hit triple digits in attendance on consecutive Sundays.

What does it all mean?

It means:

1) God is trusting us with more.  He’s saying, “I know you’re going to treat them well.  These are my kids too, and I want you to get to know them.”

2) We’re continuing to invite friends and neighbors in our community.

3) I’m seeing more and more of the members and regular attendees not just “check-in” with each other, but also dispersing among the guests and visitors to make sure they feel welcome.

4) But it also means that we’ve got to be ready to help these folks move along in the next steps in their faith journey.  As a church we need to find ways for folks to connect not just on Sundays but at other times during the week.

For the better part of 2 years our men’s group met monthly for breakfast and a study at the church building on the 3rd Saturday of the month.  Towards the end of last year, participation dwindled and we weren’t sure what we were to do next.

Until…a group of us got together at our local Denny’s on Saturday morning to discuss a reinvention of the group…and turn it, initially, into a group that would just have guys connect…weekly.  For any man who visited our church, we could extend an open invitation to meet us for a weekly breakfast at Denny’s as a way to get to know the men of the church.

It worked, and continues to work, as men of all ages come.  While some might only come every few weeks, some others are there weekly.  We’re seeing new friendships form, and guys are becoming more intentional in asking questions about the next steps in their faith journey. What’s clear is that the men are looking to deepen in their faith - and many are most comfortable taking those next steps with other men.

The movement has begun, and now we need to ask, “What’s next?”

Can’t wait to see what God’s answer is going to be.

Comments (2)

By Andy, April 14, 2009 9:58 pm

1Afterward Jesus appeared again to his disciples, by the Sea of Tiberias. It happened this way: 2Simon Peter, Thomas (called Didymus), Nathanael from Cana in Galilee, the sons of Zebedee, and two other disciples were together. 3“I’m going out to fish,” Simon Peter told them, and they said, “We’ll go with you.” So they went out and got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing.

4Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus.

5He called out to them, “Friends, haven’t you any fish?”
“No,” they answered.

6He said, “Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some.” When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish.

7Then the disciple whom Jesus loved said to Peter, “It is the Lord!” As soon as Simon Peter heard him say, “It is the Lord,” he wrapped his outer garment around him (for he had taken it off) and jumped into the water. 8The other disciples followed in the boat, towing the net full of fish, for they were not far from shore, about a hundred yards.[b] 9When they landed, they saw a fire of burning coals there with fish on it, and some bread.

10Jesus said to them, “Bring some of the fish you have just caught.”

11Simon Peter climbed aboard and dragged the net ashore. It was full of large fish, 153, but even with so many the net was not torn. 12Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” None of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord. 13Jesus came, took the bread and gave it to them, and did the same with the fish. 14This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead.

John 21:1-14 (NIV) - emphasis mine

Some of you may have looked up the passage noted in the comments in my previous post, in which case you would have seen the obvious significance of verse 11.  When Jonathan emailed me earlier today with that Scripture reference, I had to re-read that passage in about 5 different translations to make certain that I had read it correctly.

Some of you may call this coincidence.

I call it providence.

You see, in Sunday’s sermon one of the passages that Jonathan referenced was John 21:3.  He discussed it within the context of Peter “settling” for less than God’s best, resigned to a life catching fish after the death of his friend Jesus, forgetting completely that Jesus had called him to be a “fisher of men”.  God’s best for Peter was to be an evangelist - but in his disappointment and sorrow, he thought he would go back to that which he knew - fishing for, well, fish.  And so often in our lives, we’re like Peter - we settle for less than God’s best for our lives.

Taken within the context of our local church, I think I’ve fallen into the trap, many a time, of settling for less than God’s best as well.  Some days I would wonder if this newly formed church, all of 19 months old, would grow beyond the 80 to 90 weekly attendees.  I figured I was willing to settle for that number - a comfortable number - rather than God’s best for this church and its role in our community.  I would read of stories of churches elsewhere in the country, starting modestly but quickly growing into the hundreds (and in some cases, thousands) in a relatively short period of time - and I would think, “Why can’t I be part of something like that?”

But this passage was God’s reminder to me and our church family that we actually are part of something like that - that we had indeed thrown our net on the right side of the boat and we had a “catch” that we could handle, because our net was not torn, either.  While we had a full sanctuary, it wasn’t overflowing.  We didn’t have parking problems.  We had sufficient food after the service.  We had room for guest’s children.

We were still able to accomodate our guests with excellence - because the net was not torn.

Let’s keep casting our nets on the right side of the boat when he tells us.

Comments (9)

By Andy, April 13, 2009 9:05 am

In the church I grew up in, I recall Easter Sunday as the busiest, most crowded Sunday of the year, as families reunited and attended services together.  In the sanctuary that seated 500, I remember seeing the ushers bring in additional folding chairs down each aisle so that late comers had seats at the edge of each row.  The mid-80s was a time when that particular church was booming, and folks came to Easter services in their Sunday best.

Fast forward to the early 21st Century, and the church my family and I were attending was usually lucky to have 35 to 40 people in attendance on any given Sunday morning.  Easter Sunday usually saw a small spike, perhaps 50 to 60 in attendance, but there were usually still many empty seats.  When the pastor of that church decided to leave, there were certainly some who thought that perhaps this small church in a beautiful coastal city would eventually close its doors, destined to disappear like so many other churches across the country, with an aging congregation and a committed, yet tired core group who would one day decide that enough was enough.

Yet when an interim pastor came in, bringing with him new energy and passion for the Word of God each Sunday, a spark of life took a hold of this congregation.   Families that attended once a month started to attend weekly.  Newer faces appeared, and cross pollination began with another small congregation in town.  Before long, after substantial prayer, it became clear that perhaps a new church family was to be born by the union of the two small congregations.

The first few Sundays together our weekly attendance hovered around 6o to 65 people.  After a few short months, the weekly attendance began to trek upward, and on average anywhere between 85 to 90 folks would attend services on a weekly basis, along with a couple more viewing the service online.  The church even topped 100 in attendance a couple of times.

Yet we could sense we were being called to reach more folks.

About a month ago the challenge was placed before the congregation: each family would receive a packet of 10 invitations to send to others, to invite them to come and join us on Easter Sunday morning.  Certainly, many individuals had, on their own, invited friends, family and neighbors previously, but this was going to be the first time that the entire church family would do this together - to create a culture of invitation for Easter.  And as a church family, we prayed for a packed house on Easter Sunday.

As the weeks got closer, the sense of anticipation grew.  We prepared for overflow seating in the entryway and extra seats in the sanctuary.  Since we share our building with another church, we had individuals to help direct parking for guests, we had extra ushers and greeters, and set up extra speakers and a video feed into the entry way.

When yesterday morning arrived, the excitement was palpable.  Folks streamed in…seats filled up…the worship band kicked off the service, and folks continued to arrive.  We took a count and were blown away to see 153 folks in attendance.

We were awed.

To begin new life as a church 19 months ago with 60 to 65 in attendance, see gradual growth to 85 to 90, and to see a spike to 153 for Easter Sunday - we were utterly blown away.

Where do we go from here?

We don’t know what God has in store for subsequent weeks - but it was clear that creating a culture of invitation, creating a culture of friendship, creating a culture in which folks could see that Christ-followers are regular folks, speaks to our local community.

One thing’s for sure - we can’t wait to see what happens next.

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By Andy, April 10, 2009 9:56 am

If you live in (or are traveling to) the San Francisco area for the Easter weekend, let me extend an open invitation to you to join us for Easter services on Sunday, April 12 at 11 am.

We’ll be kicking off a new series – “One Month To Live” – exploring how we’d live our lives differently if we knew that we had only one month to live.

For more info and directions, check out our website at www.newlifepacifica.org.

Have a great Easter!